Now that my boys are in high school and not playing some kind of games every single weekend, I have some Saturdays and Sundays that don’t revolve around sports. I’m noticing that I kind of gave up on my own personal interests and I’m feeling a little lost lately.
Don’t get me wrong…I have loved every second of the ride we’ve been on. For 14 years, our lives have pretty much been all about baseball, soccer, karate, flag football, jiu jitsu, parkour, cross country, track, wrestling, and football.
OMG, I just realized my kids have played 11 different sports. Did I forget any? I’m just thinking that it’s a bummer they didn’t play basketball because I love basketball. My number could probably be on the low end when it comes to parents who have boys AND girls.
The most important aspect of this is that my kids have learned so many good skills and life lessons from being on all of those teams. The second is that our family has made some lifelong friends along the way. I don’t regret it, I only wish I had kept just one personal interest for myself.
I used to love to play the guitar. I was also a singer and saxophone player in a band in college, and have musical roots way back to my childhood. Singing was something that always came very naturally to me and I sang everywhere I was.
Yep, that’s me with the tambourine. I don’t miss the spandex, but I do miss singing my heart out and the applause of the crowd. I also miss being skinny and never having to work out because I was dancing on stage all night. Now I have to starve myself and walk on the treadmill for an hour every day just to maintain.
I was never a really good guitar player, it was just a fun hobby and I liked to turn on songs and learn the guitar parts. When was the last time I picked up a guitar? I can’t even remember. Of course, I could go pick it up any time I want, but I honestly always feel something pulling me away that seems more important. I can see that’s wrong now.
Painting has always been something I’ve wanted to try. My sister got all of the artistic talent in the family, but it just looks soothing and fun. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I could just make a big mess on a canvas and be terrible at it. And God knows I have a few projects around the house that need to get done with some paint. Is that a passion?
As parents, we need that one little thing that’s our own. I truly feel like being a mom is my most important job, task, and project. That’s my priority, but having a personal passion is healthy for you and a healthy parent is a happy parent, and I believe, a good parent.
Plus, you’re modeling for your kids how to take care of yourself. And, I’m not saying you should do it in a selfish way that consumes most of your time. Just taking small little bites of your passion can make you feel like yourself again.
One of my kids is going off to college in a few months and the other will be gone in a little over three years. I really want to prepare myself by having something else to hold onto. I’ve seen some of my friends go into a bit of a depression when their kids went to college, and I just wonder if they had some special hobby or interest, it would have been easier.
Pretty soon here, I’m going to have to face what to do with myself, and I want it to be a self who’s got something going on, who I can respect, and who is not just a boring person who’s only defined by my kids. It will be a good thing for me to have something to look forward when the kids are up and out, and I’m planning on having lots of extra time to focus on me.